I have not been on here in such a long time. I have the attention span of a fly, so to put everything in here would be completely impossible. I am moving. I got a new job. Madisyn just turned 4. Christian just turned 8 months. I am married. I am moving. I know I said that already. Things are good. I can't complain. I mean I can complain but why bother. I am going to be out of my comfort zone. I will not have my own washer and dryer.... but why complain. I will just go to the laundromat like most city folk. It is going to be hard though with the two kids. I am going to have to stock up on more clothes.... ugh. But like I said, why bother complaining. My mother in law was nice enough to buy my daughter a dog, without asking us of course.... how sweet. So now we are moving and he cannot come with us, so now what?? Either she takes him or he goes to the shelter. He is such a sweet dog. It breaks my heart. I have not had him too long. Since January, but let me tell you. I realized very VERY quickly that I am NOT a dog person. I like them, but not enough to have my own. They actually seem more needy then a baby. Babies have diapers and then use the toilet. If you don't get a dog out on time, well you get the picture... attention span running out. Time for more packing.

J-

wow wow wow. I have not been on here since god knows when.... work sucks, my kids are great, married life is so so. I love New Castle.... I miss Jay. I know he will read this, so Jay I miss you.

I have not been onto this site in some time, and figured it was time for an update. I am still pregnant, 7 mos. as we speak. The little boy is doing great. Yes, that's right, a little boy. Rick and I have decided to name him Christian. We are all very excited about his arrival in September. I was just browsing the internet and noticed an editor from Glamour magazine has posted a blog that kept people updated on her trials and tribulations of pregnancy. In any event, she had a particular blog which was focused on the 7th month, and how she has completely lost her mind at this point. She hadn't lost it due to stress or anything along those lines, but she lost it because that is what really happens during pregnancy. She would talk about leaving the phone in the fridge, leaving the house while forgetting her bag, all sorts of things that just seem to disappear from your mind. I also find myself doing zany things. One day I came to work and forgot all of my passwords for my computer. There is also the infamous, thinking orange juice is the milk and attempting to put it in your cereal. Now, I know it seems as if the OJ thing would be a normal everyday retarded event, not just occurring with the pregnant women, but when it happens at least twice a week, either you need a helmet, or congratulations because the hormones have really set in. Pregnancy is the greatest experience, aside from the actual birth. It is something so indescribable when you start to feel the baby move, and he/she starts tap dancing inside. It is just amazing, and it is all yours to relish in for nine months. I will start to go for my appointments every two weeks now, which really makes the time fly by. We will also be scheduling the c-section in a few weeks as well, so that will really make way for a countdown.
Wish me luck, and hopefully I will not forget anything to drastic such as my name or where I live.

I have not been on LJ in quite some time.... wow.
A lot has been happening, not just in my life, but in the world as well. A possible civil war in Iraq, port scares in the United States. It worries me to think about the future of this country. My two children will have to deal with any mistakes that are made within the next few years to come. There are so many changes taking place, and so rapidly. It is hard to keep up with the news. Some days I do not even want to turn on the news. You see nothing but headlines on bombings, natural disasters, and corruption.
Where will we be in the next year. I can't even begin to ask about 2 or 3 yrs., because it seems as though the next yr will bring even more disbelief and heartache.... 2009 is the world's ticket to peace. January 20th, 2009.

I remember when I was in Middle School and our teacher told us to write on a piece of paper for 10 minutes, all of the thoughts that came into our heads. I wish I still had mine.... I wonder if I could do that now? Well let's see...
I am completely bored. I can't believe that there was nothing to do, but yet I worked my ass off all day. I am really starting to hate everyone here. I don't know why, but they are all fucking annoying. Everyone here is all part of a fucking cliche. I miss Jay. He was the only one that I could stand for long moments at a time. He never really annoyed me, only when he was super critical, which he is about EVERYTHING, but I don't want to sound super closed minded and say that it just comes with the "gay"..... I am getting annoyed with this whole typing this now. I am going to call it quits for the day.

~~

Well, I am ending my 5 weeks of pregnancy soon, and then will begin my 6th week. I am very excited, although just today I started to feel very sick. I feel nauseaus, complete with being completely exhausted and having an upset stomach. It's funny because I was complaining that I wish I "feel" pregnant, but now I know it is going to bite me in the ass.

In school news: I start classes on the 23rd. I wish classes started sooner. I am very excited for this semester. Although being pregnant and staying at class until 10pm on Wednesday nights, is going to take it's toll, but I have to do it! Yeah! (gung-ho voice) I keep checking online to see if I can buy my books at school soon with my financial aid, but I haven't seen anything posted yet. I only have to buy one book which kicks ass!! That leaves me with more financial aid left over!! WOO HOO!

Jan 6th 2006 - I peed on a stick and we now have a baby on the way. I am due in Sept. but will have to have a c-section due to my last one done. We are very excited, but nervous at the same time. Will everything thing turn out alright, 10 fingers, 10 toes, one head. I am very nervous due to my last high risk pregnancy and loss. I think that if I hope for the best, the best will come. Wish me luck!!

Yeah for 2006.

2005 in quick rewind. I became engaged on Christmas day. Madisyn did not end up in the hospital once. I got a new job, but then didn't like it, so I went back to my old job. Rick finally got his health insurance and went for his MRI. I managed two, count em, TWO A-'s in school, which put me on the Dean's list. Rick's mom had a pretty healthy yr. SO, all was not too bad. It was an interesting year. 2005 gave our country a lot of turmoil and sadness. If it is this bad again, I will have to seriously become a pill head.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!

It is almost Christmas, and I cannot believe it, and be more excited. Madisyn is going to have so much fun this year. We didn't get her too much. Clothes, a couple toys. I will get her a couple more things this week. I promised myself we would never spoil her, because god forbid on year we do not have the money to buy her a lot, we do not want her to expect it.
School is almost over. My English final is due this Friday, and my Anthropology final is not for a few weeks. Math has been over with for a while now. I am going to re-take it next semester, along with creative writing and psychology. 3 classes. Man, I am going to be booked. Can't wait though. I just want to transfer, and get on with my major (I am going to community college, and with all of lifes drama, have still yet to finish my first two yrs.) But, alas, I have made it a priority to get things done and over with. I was confused at first as to wether or not I was going to concentrate on in one area of Anthropology, or if I was just going to keep it straight Anthropology. Well, I have decided to keep it straight Anthropology. Woo hooee. I am so excited, and I just can't hide it, I don't want to lose control, but I think I like it. Ciao.

What is the purpose of religion, rather organized religion. I was thinking about this a little while ago, here at work. Since changing departments, and pretty much working for the "other half" of the Knights, I have come to realize my questions about God, and the whole "what does it all mean" crap, is still lingering, unanswered of course. Was religion used way back when before prozac, to fight depression? Was it just some made up thing, that people use to keep sane, kind of like a piece od mind?
I am one of those see-saw people. I can't quite figure out where I stand or what I believe in. I was baptized a Catholic, and partially raised Catholic. We never went to church every Sunday and my mother never really spoke of it, but it was always around.....
I feel like I shouldn't call myself a Catholic, and part of me doesn't want to call me anything, ie.Catholic, Protestant, etc. I think that people just need to believe in themselves, but yet as soon as I think this, I find myself wondering if I might really go to hell if I do not have faith backing me up... So this has been going on for some time now. Do I talk to a priest, a psychologist, a tree??? maybe.